20 Great Responses to Terrible Pick-Up Lines
I think if you are female, you have heard at least one terrible pickup line. While we were at Kona Grill on Saturday, one classy guy in corduroy shorts not only told me how he laid pipe for a living, but he mentioned the back seat of his car (as a place to have sex) and tried to put my hand on his crotch...
Over the years I have had more than one bad pick up line - but these are some great stock responses!
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter" (or) "Stop."
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
Over the years I have had more than one bad pick up line - but these are some great stock responses!
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter" (or) "Stop."
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
Trackbacks
-
8/13/2008 1:06 PM
Neurotic by Nature - Mostly True Stories from the life of Mandi wrote:
However, I like to focus on the positive - so let's do that. So much GOOD stuff has been going on that I am not even sure where to start. Looking back over my last several posts, I realized, I haven't been talking about me...not that there's anything wrong with it, I guess i just haven't felt like anything was personally interesting right now. So here's a little about me and my life.
These were funny. I know there's one about heaven must be missing an angel.
I'm so glad I'm not a man.
Reply to this
HA!
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
I've used this one!! LOVE THIS LIST!
Reply to this
Touchee Pussycat!!
some Good Zingers*********
Reply to this
Thanks for the ammo.
The one I use quite often is:
Man: Hey baby, do you have a minute?"
Me: Sorry, dude, I'm fresh out.
The comeback I found that works the best to deter the aggressive male with any line is: I'm so in love with my man that I can't even see you right now.
Men haven't figured out a comeback for that one yet. They just stand there looking stupid as I walk away. Works like a charm.
Reply to this
I had a good laugh!!! Thanks :o) Very inspiring and useful indeed.
Hugs,
Natalie
Reply to this
How about:
guy: How much does a polar bear weigh?
gal: (blank stare)
guy: Enough to break the ice?
too cheesy?
Reply to this
I love that one! I had the cutest little guy try that on me, and I just thought it was adorable.
I think the trick is to look sweet and innocent...
Reply to this
Too funny--I think the worst pick up lines I ever heard were when i was lucky enough to be in the Bahamas. My theory was that they were so used to all the tourist women being completely wasted and in full-time "whoo-hoo i'm on a tropical island i'll do anything" mode that they didn't even try that hard.
The all time worst one I heard there was (Guy): "Baby, I'm attracted to you like a fly is to s***"
(Me): Do you realize you just compared me to a pile of poop and yourself to an insect that vomits on things?"
Reply to this
haha some of those ive actually heard befor, great stuff
Reply to this
Well those stuffs are funny and it really made me laugh, as in a good laugh, Ive heard some of those before but most of them are new to me, Pretty good and interesting Keep psoting
Regards,
John
Reply to this
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
This is hilarious!
Reply to this
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
nice one. good stuff.
Reply to this
Rigidly, but fun. My favorite:
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Very clever woman...
Reply to this